Monthly Archives: December 2010

Understanding Anger

his is a brief outline of the class I teach, called “Understanding Anger” Each of these points is a discussion on its own but I hope they give you the opportunity to think. If you want to talk further about any of them, give me a call or send me an email. I’ll be posting more in-depth notes on many of these topics in the future. We are born helpless, with an instinct to attach to others. If we do not attach to others, we will die, since infants can do nothing for themselves. When we are born, the need to attach to others is the most important need of all. Literally nothing is as important as that. If we are not attached to a caregiver, then our other survival needs will not be provided for, meaning that emotional attachment is necessary for our very survival. Once we are securely attached to a caregiver, the reflex to attach begins to shrink in terms of importance. Attaching is no longer our number one priority. Instead we begin to learn about the world, about ourselves, about other people. Secure attachment allows us to venture out from our secure base, our caregiver, and […]

By |December 18th, 2010|Blog|Comments Off on Understanding Anger

Three Lessons I Learned From a Dog

hree of the most meaningful lessons I have ever learned, I learned from a dog. I was sitting outside a local coffee shop and observed a mother, a father, their young daughter, and the family dog take their places at a table. The dog’s eyes were trained intently on a muffin, held in the precarious grip of the toddler. The father instructed the dog to sit, which was completely ignored. The father repeated the instruction with more urgency but it had no more impact than the first attempt. The third attempt was delivered with intensity and volume and harshness, and finally the dog obeyed, slowly sitting on the sidewalk. The father then repeated the process, instructing the dog to lie down. Three times the command was given, with increasing intensity and harshness until finally there was compliance. Finally, after the dog had acquiesced and was lying at the father’s feet, he shouted one last command, for the dog to stay. What he did not notice throughout this process, even when the dog was reluctantly following orders, was that the dog’s eyes never left the muffin. Eventually, when no one was looking, and the muffin was unguarded, it became the dog’s […]

By |December 11th, 2010|Blog|Comments Off on Three Lessons I Learned From a Dog