problems

A Virtual Slap: How Words Can Hurt

By |August 20th, 2013|Blog, Education, Insight|Comments Off on A Virtual Slap: How Words Can Hurt

Facebook for Neurons: The Science of Anxiety

By |August 17th, 2013|Blog, Education|Comments Off on Facebook for Neurons: The Science of Anxiety
  • How to Change The Past How to Change The Past

    How to Change The Past

How to Change The Past

One of the most frequently used lines of false consolation that I hear is “you can’t change the past”. Usually this bit of indispensable wisdom is offered as a word of advice when someone is describing the impact of some negative event from their history, something that they wish had never happened and often something that continues to affect them to this day. Of course, this advice and apparent statement of the obvious is rarely helpful, which is not surprising if we look at the gist of this rejoinder. Let’s say you run breathless to the neighbour’s house, pounding on the door. They open the door and ask what’s going on. You tell them that there’s been a terrible accident and you need them to call an ambulance because you think your brother is dead. I don’t think anyone would feel justified or even attempt to rationalize a response such as, “Well, it’s in the past. You can’t change the past. You just have to let it go and get over it.” We would expect that person to offer help, to repair whatever damage had been done, within reason and their capability. Of course we wouldn’t expect them to take […]

By |March 26th, 2013|Blog, Insight, Uncategorized|Comments Off on How to Change The Past
  • The Top Six Barriers to Seeking Help The Top Six Barriers to Seeking Help

    The Top Six Barriers to Seeking Help

The Top Six Barriers to Seeking Help

oday I’m going to be addressing the top six reasons why people who need help from a counsellor are reluctant to reach out and begin the process. These reasons are gleaned from my years of experience working with people who, after meeting, have asked themselves the question, “Why did I wait so long?” Time Most people would probably describe themselves as busy. Many of us actually are. We may have multiple jobs, multiple hobbies, and multiple children, and all of these entail multiple demands. However, if we take a good look at our schedules, we may find that a good percentage of our “busy” time could be spent much more productively. While I was working my way through university, I was employed by my school’s athletic department as an Academic Coach. Basically, my job was to help the student athletes avoid losing their academic eligibility to play for the sports teams. At the beginning of each semester, I would sit down with each athlete from each team and go over their course schedule, help them set goals, and if necessary teach them study skills and time-management skills. The most common reason I heard from the students to explain academic problems […]

By |October 17th, 2012|Blog|Comments Off on The Top Six Barriers to Seeking Help

What Are You Looking At?

oo many times I hear people setting goals that revolve around avoiding something negative rather than approaching something positive. There is much to be said for the idea that the location of our focus determines that nature of our journey. Consider the following analogy. If you are running from a bear, the further you get from the bear, the less motivation you have to keep up your speed. When the bear is out of view, you may think that you have lost it and that you no longer need to run. You begin to walk and allow your body to rest. This leisurely pace gradually slows to a stop, as you sit and rest a while. You hear a crack in the bushes next to you and assume that it must be a deer or a squirrel. Then, you are horrified to see the bear emerge from the bushes, running full speed. You freeze. It is too late to begin running again. If you are running to your home, the closer you get to your home, the more motivation you have to maintain and even increase your speed. When your home is in view, or even around the corner, you […]

By |March 15th, 2011|Blog|Comments Off on What Are You Looking At?