A short description of one of the most basic elements of my counselling approach: Educational Relational Behavior Therapy (ERBT) is built around two pillars: psychoeducation and the principles of rational emotive behavior therapy. However, contrary to the concept of irrational beliefs being the main culprit, the individual is not taught to recognize his or her thoughts or beliefs as illogical or irrational, but inaccurate. For example, if an individual believed in their core that the next rainfall would result in a catastrophic flood, the most logical response to the next rainfall would be to get to higher ground as quickly as possible. This would be the best way to avoid getting washed away in the flood. To others, the behavior appears illogical because they do not share the belief of the flood. However, no matter how logical and rational the behavioral response, the fact remains that the premise upon which the logic is based is, in fact, inaccurate. Thus we can say that the response is logical but inaccurate. This may apply to the origins of individuals’ anger, aggression, anxiety, depression, etc. If the individual’s implicit memory of past harms has been triggered by a current situation, then the brain […]
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ADHD Journal Entry
ADHD Journal Entry
A little ADHD journal entry I found on my computer: I wonder if all of the birds in this neighbourhood know each other. Is it always the same ones screaming their lungs out just beyond my bedroom window at sunrise? I don’t think birds even live in families but if not, do they at least hang out and have best friends or birds that are cool? What would a cool robin look like? I have a really hard time picturing a cool robin. They seem kind of prim and proper and boring. We’ve got these blue jays that live in the trees in our backyard but they are just a bit too screechy to be considered cool. I think blue jays are like bird hipsters. They dress outlandishly but try to play it off like it’s no big deal. Well it is a big deal. I think the ultimate cool must be a hawk. Don’t make much noise but everybody knows when they’re around. Crows are like the kids who want all the other birds to think they run the show. They make a bunch of noise, bully the other birds, and even look pretty sweet, all in black, shiny […]
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Grieving Infidelity in Relationships
Grieving Infidelity in Relationships
In my last post I reviewed the five stages of grief as outlined by Elizabeth Kubler Ross in her book “On Death and Dying. As I pointed out, while the stages of grief and loss were originally introduced to help people understand reactions to death, these stages are equally applicable to other forms of loss that may occur. In this post, I will focus specifically on the form of trauma and loss with which I am all too often asked to assist, that of infidelity in relationships. What is (In)Fidelity? The meaning of the word fidelity may be debated with regard to the line between acceptable and unacceptable behavior in relationships, but strictly speaking, fidelity is defined as “strict observance of promises and duties, loyalty, conjugal faithfulness, adherence to fact or detail, and accuracy or exactness.” As this definition shows, fidelity is multifaceted. Many times, disagreements and conflicts over fidelity within relationships are based on different values with regard to any one or more of these facets. However, typically when we refer to infidelity, we are referring to sexual or romantic interaction outside the bounds of the marriage or relationship to which one is expected to be committed. Infidelity has existed as long as values that promote fidelity have existed. It […]
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