A little ADHD journal entry I found on my computer:
I wonder if all of the birds in this neighbourhood know each other. Is it always the same ones screaming their lungs out just beyond my bedroom window at sunrise? I don’t think birds even live in families but if not, do they at least hang out and have best friends or birds that are cool? What would a cool robin look like? I have a really hard time picturing a cool robin. They seem kind of prim and proper and boring.
We’ve got these blue jays that live in the trees in our backyard but they are just a bit too screechy to be considered cool. I think blue jays are like bird hipsters. They dress outlandishly but try to play it off like it’s no big deal. Well it is a big deal. I think the ultimate cool must be a hawk. Don’t make much noise but everybody knows when they’re around.
Crows are like the kids who want all the other birds to think they run the show. They make a bunch of noise, bully the other birds, and even look pretty sweet, all in black, shiny and sleek. But, when a big dumb seagull comes along and stumbles into a crowd of crows, which for some reason is called a murder, whoever came up with that idea anyway? Why can’t we just say a flock of crows? For that matter, why can’t we say a herd of crows, or even just a group of crows. Who decrees what groups of animals are called. Tigers and lions are both big cats but lions live in a pride? What kind of a name is that for a group of lions. A pride? Does someone just arbitrarily open the dictionary and pick a word at random and assign it to the animal species in question? How else could they come up with these designations? So a male pig is a boar but a male dog is a dog. Dogs have puppies, cats have kittens, pigs have piglets. Why not doglets and catlets? What are baby rats called? Pups. Seriously? Isn’t that what dogs have? So are dogs and rats related somehow? I heard that dogs and bears were related somehow but a baby bear is called a cub, just like a lion, which is a cat, which has kittens, but not catlets. Why don’t we come up with a taxonomy system that is less arbitrary and easier to keep track of? What about just adding the suffix –let to the adult name of the animal? Catlets, doglets, birdlets, tigerlets, lionlets. Lionlets sounds dumb but then so does a pride of lions or a murder of crows or a flock of seagulls. I’m sure the first time someone said, look at all of those seagulls, that’s a serious flock right there, someone must have looked at them funny and said, what’s a flock? Oh, that’s just what I call a bunch of seagulls together. Over time, we must have gotten used to it. So, why not be the guy to start the new taxonomy?
How did I get here? Blue jays and then crows. Yes, and a big dumb seagull that wanders around and the crows run scared, their illusion of cool shattered by the fact that one seagull can intimidate them. But a hawk? A hawk lets out that little scream and the rest of the birds go running. I mean flying. Have you ever seen a bird that flies like a dork? Or a dog or cat that walks like a dork? It’s hard to imagine a dog that is a geek. What kind of weird stuff would a dog nerd be into that a cool dog wouldn’t be into? Are there any species that have the equivalent of cool kids and nerds? This is something that I have honestly never thought of before. I guess it’s not really that important but it is something to think about.