Many of us carry around unnecessary burdens. These burdens are often formed by resentments, which are in place due to past or present mistreatment. We seem to equate mistreatment with injustice. Without going into a long discussion of the payoff of holding on to our resentments and negative feelings, let us focus on what we might do to rid ourselves of the dark cloud that hangs over us from time to time. Imagine that you are in a lineup in a busy cafeteria. You are balancing your lunch tray precariously and watching out for all potential threats to its stability. Suddenly, the person behind you lurches into your back, causing your tray to tilt and its contents to spill across the floor. This is where things get interesting. You whirl around and are faced with one of two scenarios. In the first scenario, the person glares at you and it becomes clear that they intentionally caused you to spill your lunch. In the second scenario, they appear to be embarrassed and it becomes clear that they were pushed from behind as well, causing them to bump into you. It was accidental. Consider the difference in feelings you might have in […]
Understanding Anger
his is a brief outline of the class I teach, called “Understanding Anger” Each of these points is a discussion on its own but I hope they give you the opportunity to think. If you want to talk further about any of them, give me a call or send me an email. I’ll be posting more in-depth notes on many of these topics in the future. We are born helpless, with an instinct to attach to others. If we do not attach to others, we will die, since infants can do nothing for themselves. When we are born, the need to attach to others is the most important need of all. Literally nothing is as important as that. If we are not attached to a caregiver, then our other survival needs will not be provided for, meaning that emotional attachment is necessary for our very survival. Once we are securely attached to a caregiver, the reflex to attach begins to shrink in terms of importance. Attaching is no longer our number one priority. Instead we begin to learn about the world, about ourselves, about other people. Secure attachment allows us to venture out from our secure base, our caregiver, and […]
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